I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
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then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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