I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize