I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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