so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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