So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
