I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
