I wish i was in the wii world.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
