Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
