Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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