I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
