So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am naked and annoyed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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