barbara walters just said penis...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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