She said her name was "party"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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