Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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