If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My dick has a subreddit
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
