i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
