I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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