margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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