operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize