You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
