I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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