jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just crazy horny about you
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
