he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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