It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need to calm my uterus...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize