cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
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