So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i dont even know how to be here
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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