i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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