what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
