We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
