I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
