ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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