You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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