Where is the hickey?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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