I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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