at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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