I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
