Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
