I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The best revenge is premature balding
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I will be naked everywhere
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
