I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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