if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Every concussion has its silver lining
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
