i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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