Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Randomize
