I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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