Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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