this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
