after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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