this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
