I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Holy shit dude........stairs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize