Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
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Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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