dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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