I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
