just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize