I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
