I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
