You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
