You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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