Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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