he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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