At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
