Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
